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Steve Wagner

Still Relevant in 2020: “Is there a more important question than the voting question?”

Click here or click the image to read or listen to Steve’s October 2016 message, “Is there a more important question than the voting question?”

Click here or click the image to read or listen to Steve’s October 2016 message, “Is there a more important question than the voting question?”

Four years ago I wrote and recorded a message to JFA’s supporters entitled, “Is there a more important question than the voting question?” This letter is just as relevant now as it was in 2016. Please read or listen to it, and share it. - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

“7 Conversations” Online Workshops: There’s Still Time to Sign Up!

There’s still time to sign up for “7 Conversations in 7 Hours,” our seven-week online course beginning again this week. Choose from one of four different options, and don’t worry if you miss the first week, because there is a make-up session. Click here to learn more and register. Remember to go select from one of four options to take our online course:

  • Option 1: Tuesday Mornings, 9/22-11/3, 10-11 AM Central

  • Option 2: Tuesday Evenings, 9/22-11/3, 7-8 PM Central

  • Option 3: Thursday Mornings, 9/24-11/5, 10-11 AM Central

  • Option 4: Thursday Evenings, 9/24-11/5, 8-9 PM Central

If you miss Session 1, you should still sign up for the course! Make-up sessions will take place on September 25 (Friday) and September 28 (Monday).

A Breakthrough at the Water Pump

Dear Friend of JFA,

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Recently my family invited me to watch a more recent version of a movie I saw in grade school (The Miracle Worker, Disney, 2000). The movie tells the story of Helen Keller, a blind and deaf seven-year-old, and her teacher, Anne Sullivan. In contrast to many in Helen’s life who saw her as a hopeless cause, Anne tenaciously labored to draw out Helen’s incredible intelligence and potential.

Imagine the challenge of teaching language to someone who is blind and deaf! Anne felt at many points like she was getting nowhere. Over and over she would spell with sign language into the palm of Helen’s hand, and over and over it seemed that even though Helen imitated beautifully, she did not comprehend the meaning of the hand signs. Then one day Anne and Helen experienced a breakthrough at the water pump. In The Story of My Life, Helen described it:

Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten — a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that “w-a-t-e-r” meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free!

We create conversations about abortion, longing for every person to experience this same moment of comprehension. While many have dismissed pro-choice advocates both within and outside our church communities as a hopeless cause, we train pro-life advocates to labor with each person, not discouraged when one approach doesn’t work. Some have called Helen’s experience a miracle. That’s apt. In the same way, while we labor with the best dialogue tools we have, we also rely on God to work a miracle in each person’s worldview. Thank you for partnering with us to help the blind and the teacher of the blind alike, that many may “come to see” the inherent value of every human being.

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

Free Online Learning from Anywhere!

“7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Options

7 Conversations picture with JFA logo.jpg

9/22-11/3: Tuesdays, 10-11 AM Central
9/22-11/3: Tuesdays, 7-8 PM Central
9/24-11/5: Thursdays, 10-11 AM Central
9/24-11/5: Thursdays, 8-9 PM Central

More Options: www.jfaweb.org/calendar
Share with Friends: www.jfaweb.org/7
Register Now: www.jfaweb.org/register


Change Hearts and Save Lives!

Encouragement for Conversations

Join JFA dialogue mentors for an informal, no-pressure time of discussion and prayer, all dedicated to finding new ways to engage people in conversations in everyday life. See the JFA Calendar for new dates and times.

Lesson Plan for Kindergarten to Grade 4

Download “The Baby’s Heart Beats Like Mine” at www.jfaweb.org/kids for free!

Responding to "I can't tell other's what to do."

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In “Two Buckets,” Tammy Cook shares one concept that helps people who are reluctant to say abortion should not be legal because “I can’t tell others what to do.”  Through the conversation, which Tammy shares in vivid detail, she also models a number of other important conversational tools.

An Update from The Executive Director

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA volunteers often say that gathering the courage to show up to a JFA outreach event is the hardest part of their JFA training experience. For those who are willing, though, starting that first conversation can be the most important step in learning to dialogue. God seems to enjoy using that willing step of a fearful participant to create beautiful things from their conversations. After COVID-19 changed our outreach plans for the spring, JFA’s trainers were put back in the shoes of new volunteers as they focused on a new, intimidating form of outreach: creating conversations via social media.

Having little social media experience, JFA trainer Kaitlyn Donihue was not looking forward to online dialogue. Indeed, many on our team were disappointed with the prospect of exchanging productive in-person conversations for social media “equivalents” we predicted would be inferior in just about every way. Kaitlyn was willing, though, and like each of our new outreach volunteers, she initiated one conversation at a time and trusted God for the rest.

Recently Kaitlyn shared a story from a social media conversation that amazed our whole team. (Click here to read her story, “Nail Party Evangelism.”) Despite Kaitlyn’s fear and discomfort, God used Kaitlyn’s openness to create something surprising and beautiful. Are you willing to take the same step in hope of experiencing God’s work through you? See below to register for online workshops and our brand new “Encouragement for Conversations” program!

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

Online Learning Opportunities


“7 Conversations in 7 Hours”

7/20-8/31: Mondays, 8-9 PM Central
7/22-9/2: Wednesdays, 10-11 AM Central
Makeups to be scheduled soon!

“Encouragement for Conversations”

Thursdays at 3 PM Central

“Having been in the pro-life movement since 1980, this training is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. At our local [pregnancy] center, we are making it essential for our Client Advocates (in addition to their regular training).”
— Mike Brady, Reflecting on JFA’s “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Online Workshop Series

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 7"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 7

Respond to Session 7 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 7

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation.

Other Conversation Starters

Contact the webinar admin to request more conversation starters.

In-Depth Resources for Questions Covered in Session 7 (“Extended Q&A”)

Links to Important JFA Resources

Note: This post was originally written on 7/7/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 6"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 6

Respond to Session 6 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

A Suggested Beginning for Your Response

“I agree that women’s bodily rights are important and that they are still being trampled on throughout the world. Domestic violence, rape, slavery. All of these practices are horrific and evil, and I stand with you against these harms against women.

So, for abortion to be made illegal, I agree that it would be a big deal, because we would be telling women there is something they can’t do with their body. We’d be restricting them. I can understand how this topic seems heavy and how the person who wants to restrict abortion seems unconcerned about how this is affecting a woman’s right to her body.

For it to make sense to make abortion illegal, abortion would have to be much more than removing a mass of tissue. If that’s all it was, a simple surgery to remove a mass, I agree women should be able to get that by law.

Let’s say, though, that the case I’ve made that the unborn is a human being with equal rights to the rest of us. Then the woman’s bodily rights matter, but there is another human being with bodily rights, too. So, then a law against abortion may still be unjustified, but it at least is within the range of being possibly a reasonable policy. Can we agree on that?” - Steve Wagner


 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 6

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Ask if he or she agrees that generally speaking, a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, and point out that this right has been trampled throughout history (and continues to be in the present day). Then ask if abortion is an important component of that right. Throughout the conversation, focus on the empathy we developed in Sessions 5 and 6 (meeting the “Relational Challenge”) as you dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share the It’s Her Body Article

Ask a friend to read the first installment of Steve Wagner’s “It’s Her Body” series. Use what you learned in Session 6 to create a productive conversation with your friend.

Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

We shared this conversation idea in Session 5, but it also can help you start with common ground in conversations about a woman’s right to her body. Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

Option 4: Share the ERI Video

Share the video below to start a conversation. We suggest prefacing the video with a warning about its graphic descriptions of abortion as well as a discussion of the content of the “It’s Her Body” series linked above.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 6 (“Do Bodily Rights Mean Abortion Is Okay?”)

Note: This post was originally written on 7/1/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020. The “Suggested Beginning to Your Response” section was added on 8/26/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

“I had never spoken to my friend about abortion…”

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added …

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added workshop dates - Register here.

More than 70 people have participated in our “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” workshops since we began offering them six weeks ago. (New dates have been added. See below!)

At the conclusion of each hour-long Zoom session, we challenge participants to start a conversation using what they’ve learned during that hour. Elizabeth, a participant from Florida, wrote to us after Session Four:

I had never spoken to my friend, T, about abortion, so when I asked her stance she immediately went into her personal story. As a pregnant 16 year old she’d had an initial consultation and scheduled [an] appointment for a saline abortion at 6 months pregnant. She said everyone assumed that’s what she should do and in response to their reactions, she [scheduled the appointment] but had not yet told her mother. The baby’s father came to her house one day saying his sister wanted to speak with her. They spoke on the phone and the sister told her not to abort the baby, that it was a “living baby” and not to worry, that things would work out and offered her help such as babysitting and a place to live.

The panel shown above, part of JFA’s “Stop and Think” exhibit, features a fetus at 18 weeks old (from fertilization). This is the age of the unborn around the beginning of the 6 month of pregnancy (the same stage of pregnancy when Elizabeth’s friend, T, had first scheduled an abortion appointment).

T told me then “that was the first time it had ever occurred to me that it was a baby. His sister talked about it in a way that showed she cared.” The sister also urged her that if she had an abortion it would be a big regret. She decided then and there against the abortion and had the courage to tell her mom that she was pregnant. Her mother was upset about the pregnancy and even more about her unwillingness to abort but after some time she came around to the idea and gladly helped prepare for the baby’s arrival. That baby is now 30 years old and a successful, independent young man.

So, following that story I asked about her general views on abortion. She stated she’s firmly pro-life. I went through the science of the unborn, establishing the biological citizenship of the growing baby to the human family. She agreed with the various statements as I laid out those points as well as the points of the baby having equal rights. When asked if there was any situation in which she would believe an abortion is warranted, she stated the rape exception.

Since we have yet to cover that topic, I found common ground in agreeing that it would be a horrible situation for the mother and she deserves care and justice. I also went back to the previous points asking if the baby conceived in rape is any less human or any less deserving of equal human rights. She acquiesced that indeed, it is not any less.

Notice how Elizabeth was able to help T even though T’s specific concern about rape was not to be covered until the next week of the online workshop series. Elizabeth used the skills she had learned already to help T think through the case of rape. (Indeed, because T is Elizabeth’s friend, Elizabeth can also go back to her to discuss some of what we covered in Session Five.)

Elizabeth’s friend T needed help when she became pregnant, and even though some in the family disagreed, T’s boyfriend’s sister spoke up. She offered reasons to think the unborn was a human being, and she offered practical help. This illustrates why we are emphasizing with each of the participants in our online workshops the importance of creating conversations.

Note also, though, how even in her passion for unborn children, T hadn’t yet connected the dots for unborn children produced through rape. Once Elizabeth was willing to do the uncomfortable work of creating a conversation with T, it became clear quickly that they had only a small disagreement, and Elizabeth was able to help T think more clearly. Reading Elizabeth’s account, I’m struck by how the conversation seems so natural, even as the friends discussed their disagreements. Let’s pray for Elizabeth as she continues the conversation with T, and let’s pray that T will have opportunities to speak to others. Perhaps T will even join us for our next “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series, beginning on July 20! You can, too, and you can invite a friend!

Thank you for partnering with us to train more advocates to create a different kind of conversation, one that ministers to hearts and changes minds.

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

“I am not an articulate person and definitely avoid anxiety-producing situations of talking to someone who might disagree with me. But because of the course and the website I now have a resource...to help me to know what to say, and most importantly how to say it.
”
— Donna, Online Workshop Participant

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 5"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 5

Respond to Session 5 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 5

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Mention that one of the most common topics that comes up in relation to the topics of unintended pregnancy and abortion is the topic of rape. Ask what your friend thinks about abortion in this case late in pregnancy…and early in pregnancy. Use what you learned in Session 5 to dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share Pages 2-3 from the JFA Brochure

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Use the digital brochure or send this image. Ask, “which circumstances concern you most.” Usually, rape is one of the most common circumstances people raise. Use what you learned in Session 5 to create a productive conversation with your friend.



Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

Click here to view the virtual brochure and click on links in the brochure.

Click here to view the virtual brochure and click on links in the brochure.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 5 (“The Question of Rape”)

Note: This post was originally written on 6/19/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 4"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 4

Respond to Session 1 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 4

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Share the Equal Rights Mystery and ask how the person would explain what is the same about all of us who deserve to be treated equally. If humanness is the answer given, then ask what this would mean for the unborn. If another answer is given, clarify which animals and humans would be in and which would be out of the equal rights community (like the blue box activity). Ask, “Does this implication of your view make sense?”

Option 2: Share the Video of CK’s Conversation

Share the video below and ask your friend what he or she thinks of the conversation.

Option 3: Share the Video of Becca Hotovy’s Conversation

Share the video below and ask your friend what he or she thinks of the conversation.

Option 4: Share these Social Media Posts

Option 5: Share Question 22 from Common Ground Without Compromise

Question 22 asks, “Are you opposed to sexism and racism?” You can share the short discussion that follows to start a conversation. Download and share the book at its web page.

 

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 3"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 3

Respond to Session 1 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 3

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Focus on finding common ground first regarding the circumstances the person brings up in order to justify abortion. Then trot out a toddler to try to bring clarity to the need to answer the question, “What is the unborn?” If the person seems open, share some of the biological evidence supporting the idea that the unborn is a living human organism. Make sure to listen to understand, ask these questions with an open heart, listen to understand what the person means with his or her responses, and find common ground when possible. Gently challenge mistakes in thinking using the ideas you learned this week.

Option 2: Use Video from EHD to Start a Conversation

One of EHD’s stunning video resources.

One of EHD’s stunning video resources.

Share the beautiful video images from EHD (JFA’s “What Is the Unborn?” page or the Links page) on social media or through email. You might say:

“In the midst of the ugly and violent images on social media and news this week, I learned about some beautiful video of unborn children in my class on unintended pregnancy and abortion that I thought might be uplifting to you.”

Option 3: Share these Social Media Posts

 

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 2"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 2

Respond to Session 1 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

Request a Free Paper Copy of the “Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure

Use the Digital Online Brochure

View Video Resources Covered in this Session

What is the unborn? (Includes links to EHD apps and EHD video; along with embryology quotes and links to scientific journal articles)

What is the unborn? (Includes links to EHD apps and EHD video; along with embryology quotes and links to scientific journal articles)

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 2

Option 1: Opt Out of a Conversation

As you observe the unrest and lawlessness in many cities taking place across the country over the last few months (following the deaths of George Floyd and others), and as you survey the news of this particular week in which you are taking Session 2, you may feel like starting a conversation about abortion, especially related to abortion imagery, seems awkward or out of place. You may be surprised that many people would not find it awkward to discuss abortion imagery and may even be more comfortable with it, given the images in the news. With this in mind, and considering how serious the injustice of abortion is against a whole class of people (unwanted unborn human beings), we would still encourage you to consider the conversation starters below and see if you can make use of them.

If after reflection on the above paragraph you feel like you would prefer to not try to use images in a conversation this week, we suggest spending the time you might have spent on conversations to pause to pray to God to bring an end injustice in all of its forms, to comfort the hurting, and to solve the very challenging problems we’re seeing all around us. If you are not a religious person, or as an additional activity, we suggest listening to and reflecting on the stories of oppressed peoples wherever they are in the US and around the world.

Option 2: Use the Three Essential Skills in a Conversation with Friends about this Cultural Moment

Many of our participants will find themselves in a conversation with a spouse, child, relative, friend, or neighbor about the unrest taking place in the US, or about topics like racism, the brutality of certain errant police officers, “conservatives,” “liberals,” whites, blacks, Latinos, Asians, the proper use of law, the proper use of force, how to keep law and order, whether various strategies for bringing about change are justified, and other topics. We suggest engaging in these conversations with a conscious emphasis on the three essential skills: Listening to understand, asking questions with an open heart, and finding common ground when possible. When I engage in these conversations, one way to form questions for the other person is to first ask oneself questions like the following:

  • What am I assuming about this person’s communication? Am I adding some meaning to the plain words being said?

  • Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt or believing the worst?

  • Am I trying to hear what the person intended or am I reacting to a meaning she didn’t intend?

  • Are there words this person is saying that may have more than one meaning? Which words would it help to clarify?

  • Are there things about this topic I don’t know?

  • Is there anything this person is saying that I can agree with? Have I pointed that thing out?

  • Is the person intending to make an argument or express a feeling? If it’s a feeling, have I validated the feeling?

  • Is the person thinking the topic through in real time with me listening?

  • Does the person appear to be confident because she is actually confident or is the confidence a part of the person’s personality that doesn’t relate to what’s going on with the topic for her?

  • Are there things this person is certain about that I can agree with? Are there things this person is skeptical about or uncertain about that I can identify with? Have I found common ground on the feeling of uncertainty or fear that she is feeling?

  • I hear the statement this person is making. I don’t agree. I wonder what it would take for me to come to agree. What amount of evidence would be sufficient? What type of authority would help convince me?

Option 3: Use the JFA Brochure Tour to Start a Conversation

Use the prompt on Page 33 of the Interactive Guide and use the script to help you structure your conversation.

Option 4: Use Delightful Images of the Unborn to Encourage a Pro-Life Friend

Even with all of the unrest in the US right now, if you want to create a conversation about the unborn this week using what you learned in Session 2, we suggest sharing the beautiful images found on JFA’s What Is the Unborn page (or the Links page — also linked above) with a pro-life friend as an encouragement. You might say:

“In the midst of the ugly and violent images on social media and news this week, I learned about some beautiful video of unborn children in my class on pro-life dialogue that I thought would encourage you.”

Links and Additional Reading for Session 2 (“Do Images Help?”)

Note: This post was originally written on 6/2/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020 and 10/1/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.