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I was playing soccer with my kids recently and something happened twice during our game that sticks in my memory. In both instances, I was only about halfway across our front yard soccer field and received a pass in the center. In order to have a better chance of surprising the other team (a worthy aim), I fired the ball towards the goal without trapping the ball first. One touch. Sadly, in both cases my decision to be a hotshot led to missing the goal completely. I gave the other team a goal kick.
We saw the same mistake multiple times in the World Cup a few months ago. A player would take a shot from too far out, or he would try to dribble through five defenders. He acted like he was a one-man show, and his whole team paid for it with a missed opportunity.
Contrast this with a different approach to the game, one in which the player looks to be a “playmaker.” He is satisfied to pass the ball to another player who has a better angle and can move the ball down the field by passing to yet another player who sends it on to another player, and because each player was satisfied to play his part, the ball ends up in the net.
It’s the same in our conversations about abortion. We’re aiming to help the person change his or her mind completely, meaning he or she develops a hatred for elective abortion and a willingness to act to change the hearts and minds of others. But our job in each conversation is to see ourselves as a part of a team, a network of advocates who influence a person in successive opportunities that God provides.
This gives us great comfort just as it gives us our marching orders. If we don’t see the goal reached during our conversation, we are satisfied to give the person something to think about—a pebble in the shoe, as Greg Koukl at Stand to Reason says (see str.org for more).
If our personal, individual purpose in the “game,” then, isn't necessarily to see the end goal accomplished but rather to take the opportunity God gives us and to “move the ball forward” for the person with whom we’re talking, this helps us assess our performance. Did we represent Christ well? Did we use His manner? Were we skillfully maneuvering in conversation in a way that sought to help the person be more likely to change his or her mind as soon as possible?
If I had been more patient in my soccer game with my kids, I would have been satisfied to move the ball around the field more and more as we got closer and closer to the goal. Ironically, it is this approach that would have put the ball in the back of the net more quickly.
This is one of the things we teach volunteers so they don’t get discouraged. We encourage them to keep the goal in view and to be satisfied to play their part. This is more realistic, and it places only the appropriate level of burden on the volunteer. This approach is better for volunteers, and it will also accomplish the goal of making abortion unthinkable more completely for more people. We patiently see ourselves as members of a team, serving under the direction of one Coach, and we are satisfied to ask the right question or present the bit of evidence that seems most helpful in the moment. This gives the person the best opportunity to reconsider his or her perspective, many times completely apart from our watchful eye.
March 2024 Update: This letter is the first in a series of letters on conversation skills we teach volunteers that help them get started having conversations and encourage them to stay active. The second in the series was published in May 2023 (“Thinking about the Unborn Child for the First Time”), and the third in the series was published in March 2024 (“Only Two Questions?”).
See the Other Letters in this Series
Recent Presentation at SFLA’s National Pro-Life Summit
What did Kristina Massa share with 2000 people? Watch the presentation at www.youtube.com/picturejusticeforall
Recent and Upcoming Events
1/21 Presentation—National Pro-Life Summit—Kristina, Steve
1/21 Presentation—Anglicans for Life Summit—Steve
1/23-25 Outreach—Fullerton College—Jon, Jeremy, Rebekah, Andrea
1/20-22 Deeper Still Retreat—Kaitlyn
1/31 Outreach—Univ. of Texas, Austin—Jon, Jeremy
2/11 Interactive Seminar—Christ Community Church—Kristina, Andrea, Rebekah, Steve
2/12 Presentations—Christ Community Church—Andrea, Rebekah, Steve
2/13-15 Outreach—Univ. of Arizona—Kristina, Paul, Steve, Andrea, Rebekah
2/16-17 Interactive Workshops—San Francisco Area, California—Kristina
2/20-23 Outreach—Univ. of Texas at San Antonio & Texas State Univ.—Jeremy, Kaitlyn, Jon, Mary
3/2 Outreach—Palomar College in Southern California—Rebekah
3/5-8 Seminar and Outreach Events in Albuquerque, New Mexico—Paul, Rebekah, Jeremy, Kristina, Andrea
3/13-15 Love3 Online Interactive Workshops (Register Now!)—JFA Training Team
3/19-22 Seminar and Outreach Events in Wichita, Kansas—Paul, Jon, Kristina, Tammy
3/31-4/5 Seminar and Outreach Events in Colorado—Durango, Colorado Springs, and Alamosa—JFA Training Team
Recent Outreach Event at University of Arizona
See pictures of recent events at www.instagram.com/picturejusticeforall