Changing Hearts Is Still Job One

As I write this, the Supreme Court is expected to issue an emergency ruling soon on the Texas law (SB8) that has successfully curtailed many abortions in the state. It will also hear oral arguments on December 1 on the Mississippi law banning abortion after 15 weeks (Dobbs). There is some reason for optimism, especially on Dobbs, but the view we’ve gotten from the field is that our most important challenge remains a constant: many people, inside communities of Christians and outside, simply don’t have a strong love for unborn children and their mothers. It’s that love that drives the JFA team to work to protect both from abortion.

So changing hearts remains Job One. In this Impact Report, we share reflections from participants who found that love and the tools to express it through our training program. We also share pictures of conversations created at recent outreach events. To read some of the amazing stories of changed hearts from the past few months, click the links towards the end of this post.

I am coming to realize just how important it is to reach out to people who are thinking of having an abortion. I used to think that I could not make much of a difference, so why even try? But I have come to realize that saving even one life is worth going out and talking to these women, even though it is outside of my comfort zone. – Abby

God’s really been teaching me how to love correctly lately. I get very passionate about abortion, so something God’s been teaching me today is how to take that passion he’s given me and give it back to him so he can use it through me. I’ve been doing it without a lot of love and I’ve felt convicted of that. – Lydia

You have met a concern I didn’t know how to express: it bothered me when Christians just made intellectual arguments and neglected the life of the mother and all the other difficult aspects of this situation. I have never had a framework or seen an example of this being done in love before. I feel like I have the resources now to take a stand against something that is wrong while demonstrating love and showing care. I LOVE the scripts and additional resources. You made this hands on and practical/tangible. I was so thankful for this training! I feel equipped and encouraged and even excited! – Allison

Thank you for making my voice usable. – Rachel

This opened my eyes to the abortion dialogue. It was always a topic of conversation [to which] I would just say “Amen, that’s wrong.” Now I have the tools to actually do something. Your emphasis [on] the “relational” helps me shift this from a debate to an opportunity to love and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. – Eli

Very well articulated. I have been through [similar] seminars, and this did a great job at solidifying this topic into my brain and rekindling the fire in my heart towards this subject. – Garrett

This was super helpful, and not just philosophically, but ... practically. This has been such a great reminder that it’s not only about the unborn, but also about the person standing in front of us, and that we’re called as Christians to love both. – Annie

I used to look at the topic of abortion as a big rock that I could not move. Now I learned that I can now slowly chip away at it. – Mariah

A Big Change for Chase

Tammy (left) and Rose (in red) talk with Chase at WSU in September 2021.

What a wonderful fall semester! It has been such a joy to be back on campus and having in-person conversations with students. I participated in JFA events in Kansas, Colorado, and Oklahoma. At a small campus outreach event at Wichita State University (WSU) in September, I had a memorable conversation with a student that lasted nearly an hour. I think you’ll be delighted at the outcome.

I was standing with Rose, JFA intern, in front of our Should Abortion Remain Legal poll sign. We met a student named Chase. He didn’t sign our poll, but instead asked our opinion. So I briefly explained our pro-life view. He said that he would vote yes because people are going to do it anyway and we should keep it safe. I asked if he was pro-choice, and he said yes.

Seeking to find common ground I asked, “Should it be legal when done for sex selection? As a form of birth control? During the late term?” He didn’t think it should be legal for any of those reasons. I remarked that there’s a lot on which we agree. He smiled and shook his head affirmatively.

“Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure, pp. 4-5 (Get your own copy here.)

I began explaining the JFA “Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure. I gave a summary of basic human reproduction and biology on the pages depicting stages of human life, before and after birth. He agreed that the unborn is a developing human at fertilization, but it needs a heartbeat to be a human being.

I agreed there is no heartbeat during the first three weeks. I explained that the unborn is a developing human organism, and there’s no injection of essential genetic material after fertilization. The unborn only needs one thing to continue its development—nutrition. And that’s all that we need to move through the stages of human life, from birth to toddler, to teenager, to young adult, etc. We are the same whole human organism at fertilization as we are right now. He agreed that that made sense.

After a short pause, he said, “If that’s all true, then abortion might be wrong depending on the circumstance.” Wow, progress!

I was enjoying this conversation with Chase, not because he was agreeing with everything that I was asking or saying (he wasn’t), but because we built a rapport rather quickly. He pushed back often, which I fully expected from someone that says he is pro-choice. It was exciting to be on a journey engaging with someone who is open-minded and using critical thinking skills. Chase found it surprising, for example, when I noted that about 95% of abortions are for reasons other than rape, life of the mother, and incest.

My next step was using the Equal Rights Argument. I asked what is the same about us—what gives us our equality? He said that the ability to think is what gives us our equality. I asked him to consider a scenario. If the three of us took the same physics test, how would each of us do? I said that I probably wouldn’t do very well. Rose said she wouldn’t do well either, but Chase said that he would do well. I responded, “Since it’s obvious that we have different levels of the ability to think, then our ability to think can’t be the ‘thing’ that gives us our equality because we don’t all think equally, right? Doesn’t our equality have to be based on something that we all have equally?” He shook his head yes and I sensed this was a lightbulb moment. I continued, “I believe that our humanness is what’s the same about all of us—that’s what gives us our equality. And since the unborn are human like us, don’t they deserve to be treated equally to us?” He nodded in agreement. More progress.

Since Chase had referenced personal freedoms several times, I knew that was an important topic to him. So I shared my Two Buckets analogy. At the end of my story, I asked, “In which bucket does abortion belong? Does it belong in the one with personal preferences or the one with things like murder and stealing?” He thought for a minute and said, “I’m against 95% of abortions. That 95% belongs in the bucket with murder. I can now see that abortion is wrong. But abortion needs to be legal for the other 5%.” Praise God! Now I’m going after that remaining 5%!

I agreed that rape, incest, and life of the mother are very tough situations. I addressed each circumstance and expressed concern for those women. I commended Chase for his compassion. After I felt that I had adequately communicated my compassion, I attempted to bring the conversation back to the point of agreement that the unborn is human. I “trotted out a toddler.” I said, “Imagine a woman with a two-year-old who was conceived in rape. Would you agree that she can’t kill her child even though she can’t deal with the deep emotional pain she feels every time she looks at her child?” He agreed. We discussed it further and agreed that even though the topic of rape is very difficult, that since the unborn is human like the two-year-old, then we can’t kill the unborn in the same way that we can’t kill the two-year-old. They are both valuable human beings.

I added a few more facts. I told him that many people don’t know there are a lot of resources available at thousands of Pregnancy Resource Centers. I said there are about 2,500 abortions every day and I believe there are plenty of resources to help every one of those women.

He said, “Okay, you convinced me! I’m against abortion 100%!” We looked at each other with big smiles and high-fived! Then he signed “No” on our Should Abortion Remain Legal poll. Praise God!

For help learning and using the tools that I employed in my conversation with Chase, here’s a special list of links just for you:

• Two Buckets

• Two Buckets - Take Two

• Trot Out the Toddler (Collection of Newsletters by JFA Trainers)

• Equal Rights Argument (Collection of Newsletters by JFA Trainers)

Thank you for your prayers and for your continued support. I’m experiencing a shortfall in my support right now. Would you consider giving a special year-end gift to help? Thank you! May God bless you.

In Christ,

Tammy Cook

Second Thoughts

You know when you have a thought that enters your mind immediately upon hearing something or seeing someone, and you think, “Wow, I’m not sure why I thought that. That was a bizarre thought. I don’t appreciate that that came into my mind.” Follow me here. I call this a First Thought.

That internal questioning that says, “Hmm, why did I think that?” is one example of a Second Thought. This is a fundamental aspect of maturing as a person.

We’re all taught things, raised with ideas. Some of those ideas are beautiful and good and shape us to be stronger when challenged. Good ideas like trusting God first and looking before you cross the street can become instinctual First Thoughts if they’re ingrained early enough. Other first thoughts, however, are toxic. An example would be a thought of judging someone’s actions without discernment. Another example would be rude thoughts without consideration. Some forms of racism and sexism come from this First Thought category. Somewhere along the way, we absorb the belief that those clothes are “ugly” or that hairstyle is “awful.” These examples are only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes these First Thoughts are insidious, causing harm to our psyche or resulting in harm to others when acted on.

When I first began doing pro-life work, I judged women who had abortions as murderers – evil women who wanted to kill children. After speaking to women who had unexpected pregnancies, challenging life circumstances, or who had actually sought out abortions, the Second Thoughts started to emerge. When I judged someone “without thinking,” I addressed that thought: “I don’t want to think things like that automatically. I want to learn more about this person and have compassion.”

Without Second Thoughts, the mind runs about like a child in a grocery store: “Ew, Mom, what’s wrong with her face?” With maturing and conscious effort to address prejudice, the mind stands still and ponders, “I feel concern. Concern for many people: the unborn, the women, this person standing before me. How do I love them all and extend to them the heart of Jesus?”

This transformation of thought takes work. Making Second Thoughts into instinctual habit takes years of re-learning, exposure to uncomfortable ideas, abandoning our pride before the throne of God. I still have so many First Thoughts. As a new mom, some First Thoughts about parenting are rearing their ugly heads, and I need compassion from people around me as I learn to re-train my mind, turning judgment into discernment and care. The good news is that I (and you!) can work on developing the habit of Second Thoughts that counteract these First Thoughts, causing them to recede into the background, and hopefully causing them to pop up less and less as Second Thoughts take their place.

As a pro-life speaker, trainer, and conversationalist, Second Thoughts are my passion. If I want to have a good conversation with someone with whom I may have disagreements, I have to put aside judgmental thoughts first and say to myself, “On second thought, how can I love them first?”

I challenge you to do the same.