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Her Experience Matters

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What Do You Think?

Many pregnant women feel completely alone when facing unintended pregnancy.  Some believe their decision about their pregnancy only affects them.  Yet, aren't there two senses in which it isn't quite true that she is completely alone?

There's at least one sense in which she is not alone, for there is another being, one of the smallest humans on earth, who is very close by and is affected by her decision.  But does the presence of that being bring the comfort of togetherness or the terror of a life changed forever? 

There's another sense in which she doesn't have to be alone, but this second sense of "not being alone" depends on you and me.  Will we offer our help, without judgment, so she doesn't have to face this difficult situation alone? 

Can She Embrace Both?

Panel from JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit (Image: Madame Vigée-Le Brun et Sa Fille, by Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun, France, 1786; More information: Art of Life web page)

One of my favorite panels from our Art of Life Exhibit juxtaposes a classical painting of a woman holding her daughter with the words “Embracing child and career” and “better than abortion.”

At the University of Oklahoma in 2016, though, one free speech board (see image nearby) showed that this panel made no sense to some viewers.  They pointed out, confidently, that sitting for a portrait isn’t a career, and a woman in 1786 couldn’t possibly have had a career anyway.

Comments on a JFA Free Speech Board (2016): “In 1786 this woman did NOT have a child and a CAREER!” and, [sarcastically], “Sitting for portraits is a career?”

Had these students looked with just a bit more curiosity at the panel in question (image nearby), they would have found etched just next to the date of the painting in the bottom right-hand corner the only clues they needed in order to discover the point of the panel — the title of the painting and the name of the painter: Madame Vigée-Le Brun et Sa Fille [by] Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun.

This translates to Mrs. Vigée-Le Brun and Her Daughter [by] Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun

Yes, indeed, there is little sense in displaying this lesser-known painting from the 18th century to illustrate the idea that a woman can embrace her child and her career, unless, of course, the woman pictured in the painting is...the painter...and the painting is her self-portrait!  A quick look at the website found on the panel (www.debate2dialogue.org) reveals that Vigée Le Brun was Marie Antoinette’s chief portrait painter.  Yes, at least one woman had a “bona fide career” in 1786!

I don’t recall talking to the students who wrote these comments.  When I came across the photos of the free speech board later, the fact that these students missed the point of the sign made me angry, and for a moment, I wanted to mock them and point out how foolish they were.  But then I caught myself.  Isn’t sadness a more appropriate response?  These dear people are missing out on a beautiful moment of realization, after all. 

When people outright reject or miss the point of our outreach events, our good-faith attempts to dialogue with them, the beautiful wonder of life in the womb, the truth about human rights, or any other gift we offer, it makes me sad — sad, first, that they missed the gift, and second, that I, in my weaknesses, have sometimes made it harder for them to receive it.

So, let me reach out to you in that same spirit, seeking to understand your perspective and working together to find truth.  What do you think about the message of this panel?  Do you think that a woman who is experiencing unintended pregnancy can embrace both her child and her career?

It's certainly true that Vigée-Le Brun had prestige and an income that many of the underprivileged women seeking abortions do not have today.  Let's use this painting only as a starting point then (not as a perfectly parallel situation).  Let's assume that we're talking about the typical woman facing unintended pregnancy today, and let's assume she is in a very difficult situation with little money and little hope: Does she have to choose between two goods she cares about, her child and her career?  How can we help an underprivileged woman embrace both her unborn child and her career? 

What do you think?

 

(Note: Portions of this post were originally published in the letter, "Clueless in the Face of a Great Gift" in December 2016.)

Should We Step In?

The photo and story above were originally posted by Exposures, "a photojournalism initiative created to share the stories we all have about abortion and its impact on our lives."

Learn More About Exposures: www.exposuresproject.com 
See the Original Exposures Post: www.instagram.com/p/1Wny8tvWrC

What Do You Think?

  • What do you think about trying to change other peoples' opinions about abortion? Do you think it's important, or even ever acceptable? Why or why not?

  • If you consider yourself to be "pro-life," what does that term mean to you? Are there any circumstances in which you would support abortion? Do you think abortion should ever be legally available?

  • If you consider yourself to be "pro-choice," what does that term mean to you? Are there any circumstances in which you would try to stop someone from getting an abortion? Do you think abortion should ever be legally restricted?

Human but not human

Dear Supporter of Legal Abortion (or, pro-choice advocate, if you prefer): I've talked to thousands of pro-choice people over the past 17 years.  Many have said some version of the following sentence to me that I want to ask you about: "The unborn is human, but it's not human."  Some pro-life advocates smirk and make snarky responses to this, attempting to humiliate the person who said it. 

Adolf von Menzel, "Study for Heinrich von Kleist's Broken Jug," ~ 1877 (Getty Open Content)

I've found, though, that when I ask a follow-up question with an open heart, seeking to understand rather than refute, there is usually a perfectly reasonable explanation of the apparent contradiction in the statement.  It's this: Usually the person is trying to put his or her finger on a meaning that is hard to put into words, that even though the unborn is just as human as a clump of human cells in a petri dish, and maybe even just as human as you and I in the sense of being just as much biologically a human organism as you and I, the unborn is not human in the sense of having intrinsic value or basic human rights. 

My question is this: Have you ever said this ("the unborn is human, but it's not human") or something like it?  If so, am I understanding you correctly?  What reasons would you give for believing the unborn is similar biologically to cells in a petri dish (if that's your view), or for believing the unborn is biologically a living human organism (if that's your view), and what reasons would you give for believing the unborn is not human in the rights/value sense?

Dear Opponent of Legal Abortion (or, pro-life advocate, if you prefer): Read my paragraph above, reaching out to those who identify as "pro-choice."  Have you heard a statement like this before (or, "the unborn is alive, but it's not alive")?  How did you respond?  Did you make a snarky response (out loud or in your head), or did you scratch your head, wide-eyed, trying to understand how this could make sense? 

Can you see that when a person makes a statement to us that seems incoherent on its face, if we take a posture of assuming the person probably has a reasonable explanation (for the apparent contradiction), this can lead to new experiences of understanding and clarity?  Can you see how understanding what the person means is essential to getting to the important step of evaluating together the various ideas each of us has?

"He Forced Me to Get an Abortion"

The photo and story below were originally posted by Exposures, "a photojournalism initiative created to share the stories we all have about abortion and its impact on our lives."

Learn More About Exposures: 
www.exposuresproject.com 
See the Original Exposures Post: 
www.instagram.com/p/0v3B71PWuk 

What Do You Think?

  • Is it right for boyfriends and parents to pressure women to have abortions?

  • What type of input, if any, should boyfriends and parents offer in the situation of unwanted pregnancy?

Eliminating Disabilities or the People Who Have Them?

In this portion of the CBS feature on Down syndrome in Iceland, the reporter looks at footprints of an aborted child imprinted next to a prayer as she speaks with a hospital worker who counsels women through their abortion decisions. The counselor s…

In this portion of the CBS feature on Down syndrome in Iceland, the reporter looks at footprints of an aborted child imprinted next to a prayer as she speaks with a hospital worker who counsels women through their abortion decisions. The counselor states, "We don't look at abortion as murder..."

On August 14th, CBS News released an article entitled "What kind of society do you want to live in? Inside the country where Down syndrome is disappearing," along with a 10-minute feature video on the topic.  For pregnant women in Iceland who find out their children have Down syndrome, the abortion rate appears to be incredibly high - nearly 100%.  

JFA's "Stop and Think" Exhibit features this panel, prompting discussion about what our attitudes should be towards those, like Dylan (shown above), with Down syndrome.

Many criticized the CBS article for being too celebratory, making the distinction that Iceland is eliminating those with a disability rather than the disability itself.  (Note: The CBS video did go into more detail than the article that accompanied it, making it somewhat more representative of a broader set of views.)  BreakPoint was one news outlet that responded.  You can read or listen to its response at the following link: "Iceland 'Close to Eradicating Down Syndrome Births': They're Killing, Not Curing."

What do you think?  

Do you agree with Breakpoint that Iceland is not really removing a disability, but rather removing disabled humans?

Or,

Do you think the unborn are not human beings, and therefore find Breakpoint's criticisms to be unfair?

 

What Did Baby Jesus Look Like at 7 Weeks?

Many people are curious to know what Jesus looked like.  Though it may be difficult to know what Jesus looked like when he walked the earth, it may be easier to see something of what his appearance must have been like when he was a seven-week-old baby in Mary's womb.  And what better time for this than the season of Advent?  Click on the image nearby to reveal video at EHD of a baby at seven weeks and four days from fertilization.

To see this imagery on your smart phone, we suggest downloading the stellar "See Baby Pregnancy Guide" app.  In the app, you can find interesting facts about the embryo at different stages of development, including a heartbeat count.  How many times had Jesus's heart beaten by 7 weeks?  Find out in the app (or learn more here).  You can also use EHD's heartbeat calculator to compare your heartbeat count.

(HT: JFA staff member Bubba Garrett.  We featured a similar post about four-week embryos last month.)

See What Baby Jesus Looked Like at 4 Weeks

Many people are curious to know what Jesus looked like.  Though it may be difficult to know what Jesus looked like when he walked the earth, it may be easier to see something of what his appearance must have been like when he was a four-week-old baby in Mary's womb.  And what better time for this than the season of Advent?  Click on the EHD page below to reveal video of a baby at four weeks and four days from fertilization.

Click to make the blurry image crystal clear.

Click to make the blurry image crystal clear.

To see this imagery on your smart phone, we suggest downloading the stellar "See Baby Pregnancy Guide" app.  Once you do, you'll have the ability to scroll through video images from very early on (like the video above) until late in the baby's development.

(HT: JFA staff member Bubba Garrett shared this idea with me this week.) 

Is Suffering Ever Better?

"Suffering" from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit

This panel from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit features "Sorrowing Old Man (At Eternity's Gate)" by the famous Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh (1890).  He completed it only two short months before his own death.

Nearly every reason for obtaining abortion relates to some form of suffering, whether experienced by the woman at the moment of her decision, or which the woman fears she or her child will undergo in the future:

  • "My parents will hate me if they find out I'm pregnant."

  • "My boyfriend will break up with me if I don't get the abortion."

  • "I definitely can't afford to care for a baby now."

  • "I don't even know who the father of the baby is - I don't want my child to grow up without a dad."

  • "My education and career goals will never pan out if I have a child to raise on my own."

  • "Pregnancy is making me unbearably sick - I have to remain on bedrest just to keep the baby alive."

Or, perhaps:

  • "This baby has a lethal fetal anomaly and will die at birth. I don't want my child to go through that, and I don't think I can watch him undergo that much suffering."

The "Suffering" panel shown nearby states, "The art of life is better than abortion."  Do you agree that it is better for a woman to endure suffering than for a child to be killed by abortion?  And if it is likely that a child will suffer, do you think that allowing that child to endure suffering is better than killing him or her by abortion?  Why or why not?  Share your thoughts in the comments below; or better yet, share this post with a friend and start a conversation. 

(For more information about the painting, including insight from Van Gogh himself into the work's intended meaning, see JFA's Art of Life Exhibit page.)

One Tiny Free Speech Board Comment

This free speech board was full of responses to our Stop and Think Exhibit Outreach at Colorado State University in April 2017.  But wait...

...Hiding in the upper left-hand corner, we found the following very tiny gem: 

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"We can't have a real, productive conversation about this until we acknowlidge that most pro-choice people love children and most pro-life people love women.  What we disagree on is definitions.  Virtually no one thinks its okay to murder babies, but if a fetus is not defined as a baby or an individual then Pro-life people seem heartless.  Virtually no one thinks it's okay to force a woman to do something with/to her body against her will, but if a fetus is not defined as part of a woman's body, but a person, pro-choice people seem heartless. 

"Now let's talk!  Recognizing that you and I can disagree about this definition + both be loving people!  Let's talk science!"

- Anonymous, Colorado State University, April 2017 (spelling and punctuation preserved)

What do you think of this person's "way forward"? 

Our favorite line here is, "Now let's talk."  What do you think?  We want to listen.  Share your opinion in the comments box below, or share your opinion at our 7conversations Twitter page


See more photos from this outreach in JFA's April 2017 - CSU gallery.

Must Women Make War?

Source: Getty.  (This image is featured on JFA's Art of Life Exhibit.)

Source: Getty.  (This image is featured on JFA's Art of Life Exhibit.)

Reading about Kate O'Beirne's death in a memorial by Hadley Arkes, I came across her description of the abortion right as a sort of act of "war" in the struggle for equality: 

"Feminist fundamentalism holds that the battle of the sexes can’t be won unless women make war on the tiniest enemies of their independence."

What do you think?  Do women need abortion to assert their equality?  Could a path to equal recognition and equal treatment without killing be possible?  (See the "Erase" sign in our Stop and Think Exhibit for a visual representation of this question.  Warning: Graphic)  Does abortion constitute the making of war on unborn humans, the "enemies of independence"?  Or, is Kate O'Beirne misleading her reader with overblown rhetoric?   

[Note: That quote originated in this interview on National Review.]

Not alive. Not human. Not biology?

Stephanie Gray refers to a picture of an embryo at seven weeks during her presentation at Google headquarters.

Stephanie Gray refers to a picture of an embryo at seven weeks during her presentation at Google headquarters.

It's nearly impossible to avoid the question of "when life begins" when talking to people about abortion.  In a presentation at Google headquarters, Stephanie Gray shares questions she uses in her conversations on the subject (11:04 - 13:30).  See the clip below.  After watching, we suggest answering the following questions, preferably in dialogue with someone else:

  • "Biologically speaking, when do you think a living human organism begins to exist?"

  • "Do you believe it is possible for pro-choice and pro-life advocates to agree on a clear answer to this question?"

  • "How do you integrate the biology of when humans begin with your view on abortion, if at all?"

(You can also respond using the comments section below or using the version of this post at our @7conversations Twitter feed.)

More on this Topic: 

"Equal Rights for Whom?" - Stephanie Gray at Google (video clip)

The question of women's rights and abortion many times is framed in terms of human rights.  In a talk at Google headquarters, Stephanie Gray discussed the concept of human rights and what this concept means for abortion rights.  During her talk, she began with a point of common ground on which many people agree: the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights (21:07 - 24:41).  After watching, we suggest answering the following questions, preferably in dialogue with someone else:

"Do you agree with the UN Declaration's approach to human rights and personhood?  If you believe in human rights, on what do you think they are based - human nature or something else?"

(You can also respond using the comments section below or using the version of this post at our @7conversations Twitter feed.)

More on Stephanie Gray:

Identifying with her uncertain future

"Uncertain future" from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit.

This panel from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit features "La ofrenda" ("The offering") by Mexican painter Saturnino Herrán (1913).  It may not be possible to know exactly what is pictured here, but since the marigold is a flower frequently associated with death in some Latin American and Hispanic cultures, this may be a funeral procession.  We can imagine that the woman and children pictured may be grappling with an uncertain future after the death of a husband and father.

Let's consider the woman who finds herself pregnant unexpectedly.  Many times she is facing a very uncertain future.  Will I be able to care for this baby?  What will happen to my prospects for a career or even my prospects to be able to eat and provide for myself if I give birth to a baby?  Will I be able to handle the pains of labor?  Will I be able to find a loving adoptive couple to care for this baby if I am not able?  Will I lose my scholarship and then be forced to work in menial jobs for the rest of my life because I had to abandon my education?  Will I be dependent on others instead of being able to care for myself?  Will my friends abandon me?  Will the father of this baby stick around or will he just move on because I'm no longer desirable to him?

Unless we've been in a situation of unplanned pregnancy, it may be difficult for us to identify with these sorts of feelings that a woman faces when she finds herself pregnant unexpectedly.  But we must try to identify with her and understand how difficult it is from her perspective to think about carrying the child to term and giving birth.  Do you agree that it is helpful to give attention to these fears a woman has when she faces the uncertain future a pregnancy presents to her?  How should this change the way in which we discuss abortion?  Do you agree with the panel above that makes the claim that facing an uncertain future is better than killing a child by abortion? 

(For more information about the painting, including a link to a high resolution image of the painting, see JFA's Art of Life Exhibit page.)

Is this common surgery helpful or harmful? (video included)

Here's an artist's rendering of a six-week embryo (aged from fertilization)*:

Here's a doctor who performed 1,200 abortions describing the abortion procedure used to remove this embryo from the mother's womb**:

Embryos this old or older are killed by this surgery (or another procedure) approximately 300,000 times each year in the US.  The vast majority of the time, the surgery is elective and sought for reasons such as feeling too poor or otherwise not ready to care for a child.  (See JFA's "What Are the Facts" to substantiate these claims from pro-choice or neutral sources.)

Whatever your view on abortion, since this surgery is so common, isn't it worthwhile to ask ourselves: Is this surgery truly helpful or ultimately harmful? 

What do you think? 

In addition to this question, we think these questions are worth considering and discussing:

  1. Can you identify with a woman who feels she needs abortion?  Can you put yourself in her shoes? 
  2. Does knowing the reality of what abortion is make the decision of whether or not to have an abortion harder or easier? 
  3. What do the facts demand of us when we seek to help our friends who have an unplanned pregnancy? 
  4. Is this surgery too common or do you think it's fine if it is common? 
  5. Should abortion continue to be legal at this stage and beyond?  Why or why not?

Note: This is one of a series of posts encouraging dialogue on abortion.  Whatever your perspective on abortion, please note that Justice For All promotes respect for people with differing views and condemns all abortion-related violence.  Please feel free to share this post on social media, and feel free to comment below.

 

* Embryo (2013, Maurice T. Wagner, All Rights Reserved).  See more pictures, video, and facts about the embryo and human development at our "What Is the Unborn?" page.  To see a photograph of the embryo at this stage, see Abort73.

** See video descriptions of the most common abortion procedures at our "What Is Abortion?" page.